dejavu

So today I went to the mall... oooh how fun. I would have to say that being a speed shopper can be extremely beneficial, considering that when you speed shop you have to deal with people less, and get to spend more time doing things that are actually worthwhile and don't cost that much money. I tend to spend less time shopping in part for said reasons, but also because the less time I spend shopping the less time I spend getting wrapped up in the commercialism of Christmas, and the more time I spend concentrating on the real meaning of Christmas.
When I went shopping it felt like dejavu mostly because I did the same thing last weekend, and it seeme dlike there were plenty more people there this time than the last time, and it was still annoying ttm.
I guess I still feel numb after losing Eddy... I guess I didn't tell you about Eddy, he was a friend of mine who passed away on Wednesday afternoon in the hospital after crashing into a pond near the mall in Eugene.
People keep telling me to smile and usually I tell them to go screw themselves because I hate being pushed to be happy when I have absolutely no reason to do so. But it's not important, what's important is that I'm getting over it, slowly but surely.
I still have a hard time thinking about all of the things that happened while I was friends with him, but I will get better I suppose. I don't know when his funeral is, and frankly I wish it wasn't happening, and I didn't have to go to yet another for one of my friends. Oh well.
I guess I should go and get back to my real life. But for now, Merry Christmas to you all and have a good day.