Sorry mom, sorry God

Let me tell you something. Everyday that I wake up and see myself in the mirror, I try to forget that I am who I am. There is a reason for this. I don't like me. Oh well. I'll live.
Sorry mom, sorry God.
I guess I just don't appreciate all that you have done for me.
I woke up this morning in a whole hell of a lot of pain, hoping that this day would prove to be more successful than the past few days. I was wrong. Guess what, I am not trusted with staying in the confinement of my "grounding" from my car, so my dad takes out the battery to my car. Why the fuck would you do that? Oh my God, I might decide to drive off in the middle of the night.
Sorry mom, sorry God.
I said fuck. Oops, guess I didn't learn enough from you.
I forgot to tell you. I'm not the kid you thought I was. And I will never be the person you want me to be.
Sorry mom, sorry God.
Guess it just slipped my mind.
Today was detention day. Wow, 40 minutes of my life I will never get back. It was like a surreal moment from a movie. Just some bored troublemaker sitting in detention, watching everything going on outside. The whole time I was reading abook about a survivor of a Creedish death cult (fiction of course), he tells people they should commit suicide because there really isn't much to live for in this world.
Sorry mom, sorry God.
I shouldn't be reading shit like that. Oh man, I said shit again. There I go again. Sorry.
I know what it is my parents want me to do. They would love nothing more than me telling the one person I really love and care about that I can't be with them anymore. That I can't see them anymore. That I should back off for a while. Do you know how fucking hard that is. I mean honestly, the one person that makes me happy, the one person I want to be with more than anything is the one person my parents can't stand the most. They are the one person my parents think is a bad influence on me, or something to that effect.
Sorry mom, sorry God.
I can't not be with this person. I can't live very well without them. What you're really doing is telling me not to breathe. And no, I'm not particularly sorry about that. In fact, I couldn't give a fuck what you think of my personal life. That's why it's called a personal life.
In fact, I'm really not sorry about any of it.
I just want to be ok. That's all. So, if I'm a dissappointment to you both.... deal with it, because I like the way I live thank you very much.
I just want you to look me in the eyes and say, thank you for not sharing. I want that to be enough for you.