I fucking hate my life

Ok... so it's Christmas, I get it. I'm supposed to be happy. Don't get me wrong, I am. Really, Christmas wasn't bad at all. I got to spend time with my family, eat great food, the works. Other parts of my life, currently, however suck; and I hate it. I hate that I love someone who doesn't love me back. I keep trying to find reasons why I shouldn't love this person... but guess what, there aren't any.

I keep making things up in my head, thinking things are better than they really are, but guess what... I'm probably never going to get what I want. And I'll probably spend the rest of my life comparing every other person to this person. How hellish is that?

It's so stupid. I can't get around it. A few weeks ago I was ready to move on. I didn't give a shit. I could have cared less what happened. I was almost there too. Then.... well, I don't even know exactly what happened. It all came right back to me, and now I'm right back where I started. And I fucking hate it. Because I just want this person to come back to me. I just want them to be mine again, kiss me again, love me again. But I'm just foolish. I guess love does that to you sometimes.