Blindsided

I was thinking about a past relationship, and an analogy for how it ended. It occurred to me that it was very much like one of those really sad, pathetic stories you read in Chicken Soup For the Soul books. Ya know, the ones where someone is driving down the road, they get hit and killed by a drunk driver who happens to be someone close to them... those ones. It goes a little something like this:

She and I were driving down the road, late one evening, way too fast, only because we were in the mood to do something dangerous, and were slightly more carefree than we probably should have been. The wind was crisp, as it was late and all the stars were out. As we sped down the road, blissfully unaware of our dangerous surroundings, we failed to notice the stoplight that had just turned a lovely shade of red.
Carefree, and punch-drunk on love, we sped through the stoplight, only to be blindsided, "t-boned," as some would call it, by a large truck. Being that we were only driving a small car, it was unlikely either of us would survive, but as luck would have it, I, the driver, was the one who lived. She, tragically, died at the scene, moments after the collision. Much to my suprise, the people who blindsided us were her parents, not knowing their child was in the car, they got out to see if we were ok, only to find the horrific scene of their daughter lying dead on the road, in a pool of her own blood.
I get to be the one who lives on, that horrific crash constantly in my dreams. It's haunting, only because I know that had we have been more safe, and more careful, she would still be here, instead of dead on the road. It's not as if one can forget a tragedy like this. It's not as if it's easy to get back into a car after something like this happens. In fact, it's almost impossible. The moral of the story... there is none.

So as you can see, my wonderfully morbid analogy fits perfectly. And I still fuckin miss her. I just want things to go back to normal, but she says she just wants to be "good acquaintences." What she fails to realize is that you can't go backwards. Once you have been good friends with someone, nay, best friends, you can't go back and be "good acquaintences." And yes, church was very akward today.