Good days
I'm content today. Not that kind of content that is accompanied by a nagging voice in the back of your head, but the kind of content where you have no worries. I've been waiting for this. For a while now. It's not like something monumental happened or anything. It's just that one of the bags that I have been schlepping around for a while is finally gone, and it feels good.
I suppose I should explain what's in this bag that's gone, but I'm not sure it would do it justice. Oh well, I'll try anyway. A girl, that's what's in this bag. For the sake of privacy we will call this girl Christie. So there she is, in this bag, with all of her issues. Her excessive intelligence, her relationship issues, and her need for constant reassurance. She has a boyfriend, yeah, I know, it surprised me too. I found out from a friend of hers, we'll call her Brittney. And suddenly all of the stuff that has been confusing me for a while makes sense. She has a boyfriend, duh.
It's more than a little ironic, however. You see, Christie set me up with Brittney, which turned out really well, but that is beside the point. Christie is really proud of herself. She says she feels like cupid. She doesn't even know that I found out about her secret boyfriend, and that I'm content because I'm finally done with her bullshit, not because of Brittney. Ok, well, not just because of Brittney. Christie has no idea that I am jumping for joy because I don't fucking have to wait for her anymore. I don't have to deal with her relationship issues; although it appears that she no longer has any. I don't have do deal with her insecurities, and I don't have to feel stupid around her anymore.
I can't be too mad at Christie, because she set me up with Brittney, but I am a little confused as to why it is so hard to just tell me. It's not like I haven't been shot down by girls before, because it's happened plenty of times. I'm learning to steel myself against those things. And I feel good about my progress in that area of my life. I'm happy to see that I am slowly becoming the person I hope to be, and dropping some of the bags that I have been carrying around with me. Man, they are heavy, and not aesthetically pleasing. They hurt my back and make me stoop a little. And I just want to drop them, but I'm trying to cut these damn chains that keep them there.
I'm learning a lot these days. I'm learning how to be an adult, and how to deal with the responsibilities that accompany that. I'm learning how to stay put, instead of running from the things that scare me. I'm re-learning how to be in intimate relationships, and how to be the kind of person that someone would want to date. I'm learning how to love myself, and how to take care of the things that are bothering me. But most of all, I am learning how to be content, and I can't believe how awesome it feels.
Not only have I gotten rid of the Christie baggage, but I have started up a new thing with Brittney, and so far things are going well, so we'll see. I don't know what the future holds, but I know that she makes me happy, and I can't get her off my mind. A promising start, yes.
I apologize for the novel, I just needed to get this stuff out, and now I feel better. So, I'm going to continue on with my day, and make some new memories with this new-found contentment in the font of my mind. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.
I suppose I should explain what's in this bag that's gone, but I'm not sure it would do it justice. Oh well, I'll try anyway. A girl, that's what's in this bag. For the sake of privacy we will call this girl Christie. So there she is, in this bag, with all of her issues. Her excessive intelligence, her relationship issues, and her need for constant reassurance. She has a boyfriend, yeah, I know, it surprised me too. I found out from a friend of hers, we'll call her Brittney. And suddenly all of the stuff that has been confusing me for a while makes sense. She has a boyfriend, duh.
It's more than a little ironic, however. You see, Christie set me up with Brittney, which turned out really well, but that is beside the point. Christie is really proud of herself. She says she feels like cupid. She doesn't even know that I found out about her secret boyfriend, and that I'm content because I'm finally done with her bullshit, not because of Brittney. Ok, well, not just because of Brittney. Christie has no idea that I am jumping for joy because I don't fucking have to wait for her anymore. I don't have to deal with her relationship issues; although it appears that she no longer has any. I don't have do deal with her insecurities, and I don't have to feel stupid around her anymore.
I can't be too mad at Christie, because she set me up with Brittney, but I am a little confused as to why it is so hard to just tell me. It's not like I haven't been shot down by girls before, because it's happened plenty of times. I'm learning to steel myself against those things. And I feel good about my progress in that area of my life. I'm happy to see that I am slowly becoming the person I hope to be, and dropping some of the bags that I have been carrying around with me. Man, they are heavy, and not aesthetically pleasing. They hurt my back and make me stoop a little. And I just want to drop them, but I'm trying to cut these damn chains that keep them there.
I'm learning a lot these days. I'm learning how to be an adult, and how to deal with the responsibilities that accompany that. I'm learning how to stay put, instead of running from the things that scare me. I'm re-learning how to be in intimate relationships, and how to be the kind of person that someone would want to date. I'm learning how to love myself, and how to take care of the things that are bothering me. But most of all, I am learning how to be content, and I can't believe how awesome it feels.
Not only have I gotten rid of the Christie baggage, but I have started up a new thing with Brittney, and so far things are going well, so we'll see. I don't know what the future holds, but I know that she makes me happy, and I can't get her off my mind. A promising start, yes.
I apologize for the novel, I just needed to get this stuff out, and now I feel better. So, I'm going to continue on with my day, and make some new memories with this new-found contentment in the font of my mind. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.
posted by Elk Hat at 11:13 AM
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