He knows
He is completely broken. He likes to pretend he isn't, but it's hard to hide. He leads and average life, with average friends, and an average job, but he wants so much more.
Maybe it's that the only reason he goes to sleep at night is to dream of her, but he's tired of waking up to a shattered world. Maybe he's tired of feeling like he has nothing to offer, and he tired of trying to hold it together. Maybe he's sick of trying to be everything for everyone around him. Maybe he just wants to be ok.
He want someone to love him unconditionally, no questions asked. He wants someone to hold him, and make him feel safe. He wants love, but he can't seem to get it.
He can only live life one minute at a time, and the only way he makes it through the day is because he remembers to breathe in... breathe out... breathe in... breathe out... He knows emotional pain is so much more than just something in your head, it can take over so easily.
He wants her back, more than anything. He needs her. All he wants is to hear that she loves and misses him. He knows she hurts too, but he didn't choose this pain. He wants to tell her how much he loves her, and how he thinks she is beautiful. He wants to be the one to hold and kiss her. He wants to spend the rest of his life with her. It's not just losing her that hurts, but knowing she's not fighting to keep him. He is nothing without her.
His days seem endless, and there's times when he feels like letting go. He wants to be happy again. He wants to feel loved again. He wants the memories to be real and fresh, rather than scars of what seems like a distant past. He wants, more than anything, to love and be loved.
But he knows, even though it hurts, that right now, he can't have it back. Right now, he has to settle for falling asleep alone. He has to settle for a life alone. He knows he has to live with what he has, but at the same time, he knows he can't. He needs her to know that he loves her with everything he is, and he wants her to take him back. But he knows she won't hear, and if she does, she won't want to. She will try to forget him so her pain will be less, but he hopes beyond anything that she won't try to forget him, that she will try to love him and make things work. He loves her... and he misses her. But he is just lonely, trying to make it in this world. He is broken, and nothing more.
Sorry guys, I know I said I would leave, but I wrote this this morning on the way to Siuslaw... it's more just thoughts than anything. I like character sketches, but this isn't really a character sketch, it's more just words on a page. Later.
Maybe it's that the only reason he goes to sleep at night is to dream of her, but he's tired of waking up to a shattered world. Maybe he's tired of feeling like he has nothing to offer, and he tired of trying to hold it together. Maybe he's sick of trying to be everything for everyone around him. Maybe he just wants to be ok.
He want someone to love him unconditionally, no questions asked. He wants someone to hold him, and make him feel safe. He wants love, but he can't seem to get it.
He can only live life one minute at a time, and the only way he makes it through the day is because he remembers to breathe in... breathe out... breathe in... breathe out... He knows emotional pain is so much more than just something in your head, it can take over so easily.
He wants her back, more than anything. He needs her. All he wants is to hear that she loves and misses him. He knows she hurts too, but he didn't choose this pain. He wants to tell her how much he loves her, and how he thinks she is beautiful. He wants to be the one to hold and kiss her. He wants to spend the rest of his life with her. It's not just losing her that hurts, but knowing she's not fighting to keep him. He is nothing without her.
His days seem endless, and there's times when he feels like letting go. He wants to be happy again. He wants to feel loved again. He wants the memories to be real and fresh, rather than scars of what seems like a distant past. He wants, more than anything, to love and be loved.
But he knows, even though it hurts, that right now, he can't have it back. Right now, he has to settle for falling asleep alone. He has to settle for a life alone. He knows he has to live with what he has, but at the same time, he knows he can't. He needs her to know that he loves her with everything he is, and he wants her to take him back. But he knows she won't hear, and if she does, she won't want to. She will try to forget him so her pain will be less, but he hopes beyond anything that she won't try to forget him, that she will try to love him and make things work. He loves her... and he misses her. But he is just lonely, trying to make it in this world. He is broken, and nothing more.
Sorry guys, I know I said I would leave, but I wrote this this morning on the way to Siuslaw... it's more just thoughts than anything. I like character sketches, but this isn't really a character sketch, it's more just words on a page. Later.
posted by Elk Hat at 9:04 PM
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