Unfortunately
Unfortunately, I have to report that I spent an hour and a half last night at 10:00 sobbing hysterically. Isn't that fun? It's occurred to me recently that this has become a major problem, crying late at night. I'm suprised I didn't pass out from it last night. I don't particularly enjoy reporting that I have been emotional, but hey, I suppose it's best to be honest.
On the subject of honesty, let's start with this: I've had my heart ripped out numerous times by the same person. A person, who, so recently claimed they loved me. So what I am to do? Does love really do that? Does love make you miserable? I don't know. I can't answer that, because I am still very much in love, but have been told that I just need to let it go. Easier said than done I suppose. There's this saying that just keeps coming back around in my head: "If you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you, they're yours. If they don't, they never were."
Preaching to the choir I suppose. I just can't get over how incredibly hard this past month has been for me. It's been up and down, and up and down. All over the place, really. I find that I have to keep my self busy in order to stay away from being miserable. It's not easy when you love someone, and they say they just can't do it. Love is hard sometimes, yes. But it's not hard all the time. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.
I should apologize for my angstiness I suppose. I don't mean to try to pour it out on everyone else, it just comes out sometimes. I'm attempting to be ok and be happy, but it hasn't been working well. I just don't know what to do. Not to mention, that I float in between loving and hating this person. I really don't like that. It's not that I hate them, it's that I hate how cold and heartless they are. How they say they love me, but at the same time, don't have any of my best interests in mind at all. It's all about them. So, I just have to wait and see I suppose. I know I should let go, but how do I do it? I can't even begin to think that I'm even strong enough to let go. I like to think I am a strong person, but really, I'm not. I have so many weaknesses that bog me down, I can't even keep my head above water sometimes.
Well, hopefully there won't be any crying for a while, it really is quite exhausting. I don't like it much at all, and I'm sure that I look just horrible from last night, but I haven't really taken a good look yet. As for the rest of the day, I have no idea what I am going to do. Talon is supposed to be in town tonight, which will be nice. Talon's my buddy. He's been such a sweetheart to me. Thanks Talon, I really appreciate it. Anyways, I should go and eat some lunch. Maybe I will find something to do with my time today, hopefully that's the case. I need something to keep my mind off of everything that's been happening.
On the subject of honesty, let's start with this: I've had my heart ripped out numerous times by the same person. A person, who, so recently claimed they loved me. So what I am to do? Does love really do that? Does love make you miserable? I don't know. I can't answer that, because I am still very much in love, but have been told that I just need to let it go. Easier said than done I suppose. There's this saying that just keeps coming back around in my head: "If you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you, they're yours. If they don't, they never were."
Preaching to the choir I suppose. I just can't get over how incredibly hard this past month has been for me. It's been up and down, and up and down. All over the place, really. I find that I have to keep my self busy in order to stay away from being miserable. It's not easy when you love someone, and they say they just can't do it. Love is hard sometimes, yes. But it's not hard all the time. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.
I should apologize for my angstiness I suppose. I don't mean to try to pour it out on everyone else, it just comes out sometimes. I'm attempting to be ok and be happy, but it hasn't been working well. I just don't know what to do. Not to mention, that I float in between loving and hating this person. I really don't like that. It's not that I hate them, it's that I hate how cold and heartless they are. How they say they love me, but at the same time, don't have any of my best interests in mind at all. It's all about them. So, I just have to wait and see I suppose. I know I should let go, but how do I do it? I can't even begin to think that I'm even strong enough to let go. I like to think I am a strong person, but really, I'm not. I have so many weaknesses that bog me down, I can't even keep my head above water sometimes.
Well, hopefully there won't be any crying for a while, it really is quite exhausting. I don't like it much at all, and I'm sure that I look just horrible from last night, but I haven't really taken a good look yet. As for the rest of the day, I have no idea what I am going to do. Talon is supposed to be in town tonight, which will be nice. Talon's my buddy. He's been such a sweetheart to me. Thanks Talon, I really appreciate it. Anyways, I should go and eat some lunch. Maybe I will find something to do with my time today, hopefully that's the case. I need something to keep my mind off of everything that's been happening.
posted by Elk Hat at 11:08 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home